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Today's agenda!

First things first, my dad's watching Kill la Kill and he's like seven episodes in. L o l.

Today I'm watching five games of the NA LCS and then playing the fuck out of some Dungeons and Dragons! Here is the road so far.

We started in a tavern because, you know, that's how it goes. We asked the bartender why shit was so slow, he mentioned a magic fruit that can cure any ailment. 

There were two shady cloaked guys talking in the back. So we saunter over, and Quail rolls like a perfect 20 on a Diplomacy check. Guys tell us everything - they're going to go east to the ruined keep where the Goblins live and kill them all and take their fruit and shit.

So we ask them to join us of course. They kinda look at Quail the Bard and go... lol wut are you gonna do, play music you faggot? can you guys even fite?

So me and Bytyan get pissed! Bytyan hatches a plan. Have me kick out the chair from the guy sitting down, and Bytyan will grab the guy laughing at us, and basically prove our strength!

I roll my kick check fine, the guy lands on his ass and I laugh at him. Bytyan fails the FUCK out of his grapple, has it REVERSED on him, and just royally pisses the guy off. Bytyan pays for his drinks and we get the fuck out.

We talk to the local healer and mayor, get some info on the fruit. Turns out the cattle are also dying. Surrounded by 'churned ground' with strange, needle-like wounds in their bodies. Weird.

We decide to stay at the inn for the night and head out in the morning. When we wake up, there's a commotion outside. The goblins due in a few days got here early! There's an auction for TWO fruit!

The first one is the magic cure all fruit The mayor wins it for 100g. It's his ninth ever.

The second one is a "Snow-white" version of the apple. Dylan the Cleric wants to eat it. He wants to run the fuck up and eat it and start a brawl. We talk him out of it. A random farmer ends up winning it for 13g.

I sneak up behind the farmer and roll a perfect 20 to knock him the fuck out. I take the bag and the apple inside it back to my party. We leave town.

Dylan still wants to eat it, but first he runs a magic check on it. Nothing. Then he runs a poison check on it. Rolled medium, we find out it IS poisonous, but we dotn know how severe. So dylan touches it.

Quint, the DM, has him roll a fortitude check. It fails.

Dylan is poisoned. He took 7 points of damage from his 9 hp.

We bought 3 potions from the cleric, so we give him one. Dylan is restored to full lfie.

Poison ticks again. Dylan loses 11 hp. Dylan is dying with -2 hp. We give him another postion to stabilize him. +2

Dylan takes 13 damage. Dylan goes to -10 hp. Dylan is dead. 

Dylan died before we fought anything.

I loot his corpse of 9 gold and we bury him and continue on our journey. Shouldn't have eaten that fucking apple.

We encounter some rabid fucking trees on the way to the citadel. First a wave of 3, we take down fairly easily, but I'm wounded, down to 3 hp. I found 50g on the corpses. I gave everyone 12 and took 14 for myself.

While I'm on watch later that night, two trees sneak attack us. I get taken out immediately with a crit, they fail to stabilize me. They finished the fight, found another health potion. We stabilize me but I'm at 0 HP and Quail's at 1. We rest for a full day, no encounters, and fully heal.

We march forward to a ravine with two pillars. One has a rope, one doesnt. The pillars are covered in Goblin warnings, saying Go away, get off my lawn, etc.

We've decided to send myself and Hohenheim down to check what's in the deep dark murder ravine, and we called it for the night before actually going down.



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